Photo credit: Pexels
Sometimes, egotistical narcissists need to stop glamorizing people’s discontent with them as “hating.” It’s not jealousy. It’s the ill-mannered behavior and tasteless flaunting of superficial vanity that people disapprove of. In other words, we’re not haters. We just don’t like those who blatantly brag because it’s annoying as hell.
There is a thick, very prominent, and obvious black line between confidence and arrogance. One is magnetizing, the other is a hideous repellant.
Confidence is emanating belief in one’s skills and propagating when necessary and is done in a very tasteful manner. The latter, however, is an unabashed display of one’s superiority and overwhelming pride. A characteristic flaw that enables one to put themselves on a pedestal and disregard those that they deem are inadequate. A flaw that narcissists themselves feel is actually a strength. Something that they utilize proudly and consequently provoke an image of being regarded as an asshole. Because of this, they inadvertently label those who find their presence quite an eye-sore and personalities very offensive as “haters” when in actuality those around them are just vexed by the vulgar nature of egoists.
Lesson to be learned? It’s important to know the difference between haters and critics. Contrary to popular belief, the concept of not a hater, just a critic is plausible.
Haters do not necessarily have a legitimate reason to dislike a person with such fervor other than a deriving factor of extreme envy. They typically “hate” on someone because they don’t have anything better to do than complain about a person’s success that they have not achieved themselves or “trolling” on another’s social media account because they have a dysfunctional call-of-duty to do so. Critics, on the other hand, have a solid foundation for not co-signing and openly supporting a person’s stance, status, image, and/or accomplishment(s). Their arguments have valid depth and are based on whether or not the other’s actions that they disapprove of are in line with their morals or not and typically are there to help rather than hinder.
For instance, many disapprove of the infamous Kardashian’s claim-to-fame (especially Kim) because Kris Jenner capitalized on her daughter’s explicit sex-tape with her ex-boyfriend, Ray-J, after it went viral. The vast majority are not eager to support Kim Kardashian-West as people argue that her exposure lacks a heavy dose of value and credibility in character, as well as her platform for gaining access to high-profile events like The Met Gala and actually landing on the cover of Vogue. Which is quite literally a joke, especially with her self-proclaimed accreditation of inventing “the selfie.” (Book of selfies? Epitome of narcissism at its core). Her media coverage lacks any value to society but so happens to consistently capture the media’s attention. And because of her early scandal and the media seeing as the rest of her family was just as controversial and entertaining, a reality television show was born. Since then, a cult following of Kardashian Haters has emerged. There is substance in the discontent for the media continually putting Kim and her sisters to the limelight, however, those who are dissatisfied with her success are not all haters.
Critics proudly denounce her accomplishments, however, they do respect the family’s ability to turn one negative into a massive capitalization from the sudden exposure and generating it into a formidable monetary empire. Not a fan of how she came to fame, critics still understand, though, how she got there and give her and her family (hesitantly) credit for being able to continually grow a powerful brand by hiring the right people who disregard the family’s excruciatingly crude and vulgar origins–hence celebrity sex tape (and let’s not forget their father’s popularity with O.J. Simpson). Critics know that the Kardashians have an uncanny ability to see an opportunity in what most see as the bane to their careers and create a new form of revenue stream from it at the expense of their dignity and extend their Kardashian empire. Having the ability to take an It-Girl’s sidekick (remember she was just one of Paris Hilton’s friends that tagged along on red carpet events and Ray-J’s unknown girlfriend?) and turn her into one of Forbes’s most influential people is quite an achievement. It would be best if their media coverage could relate to something of more importance like using their fame and money to help build a fund for girls and women that struggle with body image, elevating other entrepreneurial women, or being an advocate for immigration, etc. However, they are focused, at least for now, on sustaining a very luxurious, pampered image, and over exposed lifestyle.
It just goes to show that when exploiting the right people’s talents, knowing the right people and how to leverage those networks, following the masses‘ obsession with drama, and being at the right time at the right place, anything is possible.
Now haters, on the other hand, refuse to acknowledge anything this woman has done. Whether that’s actually paving way to the zeitgeist of this generation’s obsession with social media approval (let’s be honest, selfies are ubiquitous), proving those that undermined the power of reality television shows wrong or influencing fashion as well as beauty. It’s not to say that she should be credited for making the skintight crop tops and high waisted pencil skirts or the Armenian/Persian dark haired, false lashes, full lips beauty trademark, or the voluptuous body popular and lustful, however, it is arguable that she was one of the first (if not the first) to take advantage of her social status and constant media exposure to brand herself with this image. Her haters refuse to recognize that her massive success is due to her unrelenting perseverance of just wanting to be in the spotlight consistently and that she will do anything and everything to keep her status. Side note: we DON’T recommend this.
Haters may have very good reasons to despise a person and their successes, however, they refuse to acknowledge the hustle or do anything about it. Critics, on the other hand, both have very legitimate reasons to dislike a person and their success but also recognize that in order to gain power and financial prosperity, it takes sacrifice and diligence.
Now also one of the biggest differences that people need to understand, especially those that are consistently condemning others as haters, is that haters judge mostly based on their emotions and not with credible backings of their own experiences or accomplishments, while critics criticize based on societal standards, morals, and typically using their own achievements as barometers.
So for those who consistently label others as just “haters,” be careful. Haters are there to bring people down and block their path to success. Critics may not seem like it, but they do have sound advice that can help others propel further (whether its blatantly given or not). Remember, haters will envy a person’s shiny trophies and find anything to gripe on about their achievements, critics will only disapprove if a person is unnecessarily ostentatious about their accomplishments, but will nevertheless acknowledge their triumphs.
Haters will fret because they can’t stand a person being more successful than them while critics will provide feedback to a person’s behavior because they’re bragging too much and it’s unpleasant to be around or see.
I mean who wants to be consistently bombarded with tasteless boasting? There is a time, a place, and a limit of celebrating feats. Never underestimate humility. It is one the most attractive and powerful characteristic traits a person can have.
- Skin Deep – Beauty can be measured in different forms and is merely a small factor in determining who you are.
- How to Get Rid of Jealousy – Jealousy is fueled by the desire to obtain the unattainable; let it be ammunition for motivation.
- Elevate Your Surroundings – We are the average of the five people we surround ourselves with so make sure they reflect your values.
- Why We Shouldn’t Lose Expectations – Expectations is what moivate our ambitions and drive results. Never lose the value of expectiations.
- Not All That Glitters is Gold – Social media is everyone’s highlight reel; don’t get stuck in the smoke and mirrors.
Share your thoughts on the subject and tag us at #conqueringWonderland!